Tighten the Hold
by Rumsey
Summary: Beast Boy stumbles upon an old video in the evidence room, which prompts a raw and quite candid conversation between him and Raven.


**A/N:** _So, here's a little one shot I found after dusting off my old Teen Titans fanfiction folder. I think I'd like to stretch my fingers a bit and give this fandom a try once again. One shots are nice because I don't have to update them. I do have a couple bigger works in the process, I'm not sure if I should start publishing them until they're mostly done. Let me know what you think. Please review, they help me improve :)_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans**

* * *

 ** _"And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost"_**

 ** _J.R.R Tolkein_**

 _Her body slams against the cold metal floor below, back arcing with the impact before settling on the ground. Her stomach rolls and clenches and her body convulses as she violently chokes on the mud that coats her lungs. She rolls over, curling into herself as she gasps desperately to regain her breath. She trembles. Eyes alight with a vicious red glow, caught in the throes of a gruesome battle between her rage, her betrayal, her fear, her sadness, and her sanity._

 _Winning a battle against Terra was never in the cards for her – not if she wanted the Geomancer to survive. No, as deep as her hatred rages, she can never allow herself to come to that. Her face contorts with the onset of emotion and she lets out a small gasp that could be a sob. Might be one. She tries to ignore the feeling of moisture rolling down her face._

He doesn't see this, of course. But, he'd seen enough. Truthfully, he isn't supposed to be watching this. Not supposed to be in the surveillance room, digging through old files of saved evidence footage. There'd been security cameras in that building. He thinks, perhaps, he might be able to let go of Terra for good if he sees what she did to his friends. He just sees her curled up on the ground, her back to him. He cringed when he first saw her slam into the ground, gut tightening as she convulsed. His brow knits now, as she remains tense, barely propped up on her elbow. Her head finally hangs slowly in defeat. He closes his eyes and turns off the console, unable to watch any longer. Darkness floods the room and he hunches over, letting it swallow him.

Something on the console tips over, seemingly by its own accord, and, for a moment he thinks, at least nothing exploded. The thought is immediately shattered with the realization that he'd been caught – and by the worst person possible. He slowly turns around in his seat, glancing at the fallen mug before his eyes rest on her. For a moment, embarrassment flickers across her features. He's not sure if it's from the cup, or the fact that he'd just seen her at one of the most vulnerable points in her life. The expression vanishes, quickly dissolving into her usual neutral mask. She just stares at him ponderously, until she opens her mouth with slight hesitation. He knows she's fighting down a lot of pent up… stuff.

A few years ago, he'd have been stupefied, and perhaps even annoyed by her apparent lack of reaction, but he'd come to know all of those mannerisms and microexpressions too well to miss the inner turmoil she was feeling.

"Why were you watching those?"

Her voice finally breaks the silence. It's soft, almost indifferent, but her brow is furrowed in slight confusion, he knows she can read all his emotions, but can't quite figure out the reasons behind them. He scratches the back of his head and leans forward, forearms resting on his knees.

"Ahh, I dunno, I just thought if I watched her, you know…"

"If you saw her hurting us, it would be easier for you to hate her," she clarified as though she'd come to the conclusion just as it poured from his mouth. "Did it work?"

"I didn't realize it got so personal between you two…" Boy, she could really put his thoughts into words, but he wasn't really ready for that last question. He waits for a response, but she merely gives a slight shake of her head, gaze cast down to the side. Her lips are pursed in refusal to comment. Is it still this hard for her too? Ever since she'd defeated her father, she'd been subconsciously revealing more and more of her emotions with a little less difficulty. Beast Boy, who had already caught on to her very few nervous ticks, found it marginally easier to decipher her thoughts.

"When she said all that stuff, I saw you almost lose yourself in that moment. I know you wanted to kill her. – just here me out – " He holds up a hand as she opens her mouth to protest. "I know you did because I know you struggle with this… this dark side, or whatever. But you stopped yourself, Rae. That must have been so hard…" He's frowning now, as though his words had given life to a new and more perplexing thought. She remains silent, sensing his question. "What stopped you from killing her?" He finally asks.

Her gaze softens somewhat, and for a minute he thinks she won't answer. But, after a seemingly long pause, she finally takes a small breath.

"Because it would've killed you." She says simply. Her face is still shrouded in shadow, but he knows he sees it. The sadness in her eyes lingers, unlike the flickering emotions he'd only just been able to catch. He realizes something.

"You've cared a lot more about me than I've ever really realized, haven't you?"

"You're my friend, Beast Boy; My teammate." She looks at him as though the answer is obvious. Of course she cares.

"I'm sorry I told her all those things about you. I'm sorry she hurt you."

She shrugs.

"It's in the past."

"Would you accept a late apology anyway?" He wears a slightly sheepish grin. Her brow furrows only slightly, but she responds with a small grin of her own.

"Yeah," She nods, her voice heavy.

He hugs her tightly. Despite her lack of desire for contact, she stiffens at first. But finally relaxes, until finally her arms around him too. He only tightens his hold.


End file.
